Word Vomit
by Scribbler
Summary: Mmm, Titan McNuggets. A collection of drabbles and small ficlets about our favourite teenage vigilantes. Continually growing. [5: She has never been anyone's Terra.]
1. Fracture One

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**Disclaimer: **I was out walking the other day, and I had to pass the golf course to get to the shops. On the Ninth Hole was a naked man with a large green frog on his head. "My God," I said, "I've heard of golf handicaps, but this is ridiculous. What's going on with you, then?" And the frog replied, "Well, it all started with this wart on my bum..."

**A/N:** These are drabbles - 100-word ficlets. They are the product of sleepless nights and stalled inspiration. Some of them are pretty random, but they were fun to write. Some were even cathartic. Have you ever written drabbles before? I suggest you try it. This particular collection is continually growing, and would appreciate feedback in the form of reviews. Thankee kindly.

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_Word Vomit: Version Titans_

© Scribbler, February 2005

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**All Grown Up**

When I was six, I wanted to be a supermodel. I wanted to stroll down the catwalk and pose for Cosmo. I wanted to be a glamorpuss, with a name like Glitter, or Shimmer, or Sparkle. I wanted to be someone special.

When I was six, my favourite colour was pink, just like every little girl. I had a Barbie Dreamhouse and a plastic horse that lived in its garage.

When I was six, I first wore bunches.

I'm not six anymore. I'm not a supermodel.

But I do wear bunches. I still like pink. And I _am_ special.

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**Death's Soft Touch**

"Someone get over here!"

The rusty whisper of breath against his hand. He tilts the neck gently, aware of the damage he might accidentally do, but equally aware that leaving his head there will mean him drowning in sewer water.

"Where's Raven? Someone get Raven!"

Except that Raven is too busy healing herself, deep in a trance designed to reassemble her midriff. Star flits from her to Robin, who never groans or whimpers. Not ever.

"Cy…"

"It's okay, B. I'll see you right."

Him. His responsibility.

"I'm scared, Cy."

A cough. Blood. The hand falls.

And the world changes.

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**Bottom of the Class**

"We lost. Again."

The Headmaster sighs and pinches the spot between his eyes.

Jinx watches, resisting the urge to smack that stupid grin off Gizmo's face. Mammoth just stands there like he's waiting in a cafeteria line.

To say she's about to shit a brick is an understatement. She's about to relieve herself of an entire garden wall.

"Why?"

"The Titans - "

"You've faced them before."

She draws herself up. "We'll do better next time, sir - "

But he just smiles and says, "Punishment detail."

She scowls. Then sags. "Yes sir."

Right away sir. Three bags full, sir.

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**Roof-Talk**

"It's inevitable, really."

"Don't _say _that!"

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Not mentioning it won't make it go away."

"Couldn't hurt to try."

"…"

"Raven, please. Don't do this."

"You don't want me spoiling the victory party."

"That's not what I meant - "

"It's okay. That's why I came up here. Meditation's easier if Beast Boy isn't thumping on my door with an elasticated cone hat."

"Keeping your distance from everyone won't solve your problems. Isolation isn't a magic wand."

"…"

"Raven - "

"There are no easy answers. Only more questions."

"What?"

"Nothing. Leave me alone, Robin. Starfire's calling."

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**Shelter **

"I've got you."

Raven's voice never lifted. Her tone barely changed. She operated with the same quiet dignity that she faced all of life until her inner self caught up to her.

Beast Boy was perfectly aware of how dangerous she could be. He knew exactly how perilous it was to get close to her in battle.

But he also knew how much a bump on the noggin had scrambled his thoughts, making him lose his shape. And he knew how feather-light her arms were around him – a complete antithesis to the empty air he'd previously been falling through.

And he felt … safe.

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**Treading the Line**

With two of their targets in a single place, Slade's dolls tighten their circle. What was a defensive manoeuvre now becomes a trap.

To their credit, Cyborg and Robin improvise well, moving in the synchrony of a precarious dance performed too many times. Robin darts out to strike, and back again, always moving, never still enough to catch. Cyborg covers his back, strafing the mindless automatons with blaster-fire.

One doll is impossibly fast. It catches Robin's foot. He goes down.

Cyborg breaks. He punches.

"Thanks."

Robin's gratefulness is fleeting – the barest acknowledgement he needed saving.

And then they're fighting again.

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_End Fracture One_

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	2. Fracture Two

**A/N -** I've decided to add Continuity notes to each of the ficlets from now on. I probably should have done it before, but I didn't think to. But this batch jump around quite a bit, so it made sense to start with 'em. Again, reviews welcomed with open arms and mugs of hot cocoa.

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_FRACTURE TWO_

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**Reasoning**

_(Continuity – Around any episode with Slade in it)_

There was always in-fighting. It was part of being a team. You joked, you talked, you bickered, and you did all the things in between.

When Robin got too uptight, it was up to one of the others to pull him out of it. He couldn't do it on his own, though he never accepted there was anything he couldn't do. Not until forced.

He tore one corner of his mask when he scraped across the floor, and lay instead of getting up.

"If you can't beat _me_," Cyborg said, "how can you beat _him_?"

"It's different," he replied. "You're _supposed _to win."

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**Onion Layers**

_(Continuity – Anytime)_

He really didn't get her. Not even just get her; he really, really didn't _get_ her. Like, she'd started the conversation in English, then gone into fluent Gebrovian.

"What?"

"I _said_, may I try it out?"

Beast Boy stared for a second. Then, wordlessly, he held out the game controller. Raven took it, also wordlessly, sat three cushions away and hit 'start'.

She mashed sixteen monsters, grabbed all thirty bags of gold, found the hidden level and aced it. Then she quietly tapped her name into the topmost spot of the High Score Table.

"There." She got up and left without crowing.

He watched her go, blinking a lot. Only when the doors were shut did he shake his head, frown and mutter, "Stupid, smart aleck, know-it-all … _girl._"

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**To Weep, Perchance to Heal**

_(Continuity – Post-Birthmark)_

There are different kinds of crying. There's happy crying, and sad crying, and frustrated crying. And beyond those, there's that sort of raw, desperate sobbing that bursts out when all the despair inside can't be held back anymore, and something in the soul finally breaks.

He'd seen it in victims he'd saved when they didnh't want to be. He'd seen it in children whose shoes were stained with their parents' blood. He'd seen it more times than anyone should.

Robin never wanted to see that sort of crying again.

Except that he did.

Raven glared at him, then schooled her features back to neutral. He could almost _see_ the emotions being tucked back into place.

And he futilely willed her tears to fall.

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**Hypothetically Speaking… **

_(Continuity – Anytime)_

"Cy, can I ask you a question?"

Cyborg looked up from his newspaper. LexCorp.'s stock was down, his batteries were full, and he was in a particularly good mood. "Sure, BB."

"If you could morph like me, would you do the kitten thing? Hypothetically speaking."

"Yo mean that ootsy cutesy horror? Maybe. Not really my bag, though. Why?"

Beast Boy went on like he hadn't heard him. "Also hypothetically, if some bozo kicked kitten-you, it'd be okay to bite his leg, right?"

"Random acts of violence and revenge are different than fighting crime, B."

He paused. "Um, another hypothetical question. What if you already did?"

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**Progress **

_(Continuity – Anytime)_

Robin's not _entirely _sure when he started depending on her.

Bruce always taught him to be self-sufficient. Batman trained him to work alone. He knows as many tricks and techniques as the most hardened crime-fighter, could potentially survive for a week on six biscuits and rainwater, and he never, ever does anything without calculating the risks first. Even in a fight, he's working three moves ahead.

But recently, he's noticed how he orchestrates his moves to accommodate her. He uses her strength, her flight, her agility – which isn't a patch on his own, really. He looks for her in a fight, keeps tabs on her more than the others – bad form for a leader.

And though he knows what his training demands, he makes no move to return to old habits.

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**Beyond the Pale **

_(Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal')_

There was no getting away from it. Terra was a heel.

She'd come to the conclusion quite some time ago, when she accepted Slade's offer of help. Everything had a price tag. Everybody wanted paying, eventually.

Even the Titans wanted something in return. They offered her a room. She fought on their team. They presented their friendship. They wanted it reciprocated. It was damn rude of them, really.

Actually, no. No, it wasn't. That was just her trying to validate her own actions. Badly.

What she was doing was unforgivable.

Betrayal was one of those too-melodramatic words, clichéd and corny.

She wondered how long it would take God to process the retribution paperwork.

If there was such a thing as reincarnation, she thought, she was probably coming back as athlete's foot.

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_End Fracture Two_

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	3. Fracture Three

A/N - I was thinking about doing some sort of author commentaries on a few of these in my LJ account. Anybody interested in that idea? Put responses and suggestions for which drabbles(if any) you'd like to see deconstructed in a review, and we'll see if there's enough interest.

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_FRACTURE THREE_

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**Little White Lies **

_Continuity – Between 'Aftershock: Part I' and 'Aftershock: Part II'_

The only testament to Starfire's wakefulness was the irregular rhythm of her breathing. Robin listened. When it didn't abate he rose onto his elbows.

"What's wrong?"

She looked startled, hands tightening on her shoulders. "I … was unable to sleep. My head is filled with snorkflumph."

He nodded. The day had started with a trip to the mall, and ended with each of them nearly dying at Terra's hands. Terra, whom they had trusted as a friend and teammate. Terra, now Slade's apprentice. And apparently relishing the job.

He grit his teeth. Then, getting up, he tiptoed across the cave to sit next to Starfire. She leaned against him.

"You are warm."

He didn't reply.

"We will triumph tomorrow?"

"Yes," he lied, not at all sure they would.

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**Escaping the Mud **

_Continuity – During 'Aftershock: Part I'_

A flash of light, a loud noise, the momentary chaos of the universe all _happening _at once

_No, no, no, _**no**

Sinking. Can't breathe. Panic. Where's the air?

Stop that. Think clearly. You already lost control once today, and look where that got you. Now, concentrate. Focus on the other Titans' minds. Can you feel them?

Still alive.

Go towards them. Portal open, and –

Tumble, tumble, tumble. Big gobs of dirt and mud and filth in her gullet. Cough, get them out – get them out! Can't breathe with them in there.

Then faces. Someone rubbing her back.

Friends.

Safety.

Peace.

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**Fender Bender **

_Continuity – Post-'Fractured'_

"You're an idiot," Cyborg said bluntly.

Robin just grunted.

"It ain't bad enough you gotta run around like you're _not _part of a team, you gotta get your butt busted doin' it?"

"When will Raven be here?"

"Now." She floated through a portal, hood down. Taking one look at Robi she let out sharp, irritated breath. "What did he do _this _time?"

"He only went and challenged Rancid again."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is his leg the only thing he wrecked?"

Robin gritted his teeth. "The bike's fine. Just a caromed fender."

"Actually, I meant on you."

"… Oh."

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**Gallantry is Dead **

_Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'_

"You," Terra jabbed a finger in his chest, "nearly gave me a heart attack back there." She ignored the irony of the remark.

"Um, I'm sorry?" Beast Boy rubbed his head and wondered where all the pretty stars came from. It had been light out when they went to recapture Kardiac, some escapee experiment from a lab on the Southside.

Huh, weren't they always?

"What were you _thinking_?" Terra demanded.

"Um, I was thinking you were about to get squished?"

"So you decided to take my place?"

"You know," he pouted, "it's traditional to get a thank-you for something like that."

She thought about it for a second. Then she pounced on him and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. "Thank you for saving my life. Don't ever do it again."

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**Raven Ruminations**

_Continuity – Post-'Betrayal'_

You were not supposed to prove me right.

I was prepared to acknowledge I was wrong about you. Almost looking forward to it, in fact. It's not in my nature to admit defeat on anything, but I would have been quite … satisfied on this occasion.

But you had to go and spoil it all.

I had to go and be right. Again.

I don't like distrusting people, but how can I do anything else with people like you around? People who aren't bubbly aliens who make friends with shoe polish if you tell her it's sentient.

You were supposed to be different, Terra. You were supposed to be my friend.

But you lied.

And I was right again.

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**Future Memories **

_Continuity – Post-'Birthmark'_

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months.

Years.

Such arbitrary measurements of time had long since ceased their meaning, dissolving into one never-ending cycle of blood and death and fire. Another life taken, another family smashed, another statue made, another heart destroyed – and where there should have been remorse, or at least sorrow, there was nothing.

She was mistress, lady, peer of the realm. She ruled was she saw and saw what she ruled, answerable only to one.

The One.

The hard, spindly limbs and wide but flinty eyes seemed a little familiar. Were they the first?

No first. No last. Just blood and death and fire.

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_END FRACTURE THREE_

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	4. Fracture Four

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_FRACTURE FOUR_

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**Foreshadowing**

_Continuity – Somewhere between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'_

There's more to them now than Beast Boy ever could've predicted. Oh sure, he'd recognised the crush as soon as it landed. The being tongue-tied, the unintentional shape-shifting, and that funny squishy feeling in the pit of stomach had been something of a gentle hint. But somehow he'd got past that, into whatever it was that came after flirting that wasn't actually kissing, and never noticed the point where it changed.

He couldn't isolate in his memory the moment he first noticed the soft vulnerability that sometimes filled her eyes, when she stopped being carefree and let herself relax _properly_. That strange, not-quite-sadness that made him want to protect her from all the bogeymen and make sure she never wanted to run away again.

Pfft. Him, protect much-more-powerful her? Yeah, right. Pull the other one. She didn't need protecting. And even if she did, she could handle it herself. She was capable like that.

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**Morbidity**

_Continuity – Anytime. _

The world is full of evil.

People tell me I'm gruesome when I say things like that. But it's true. You only have to look out the window, or turn on the TV to see stories of the despicable things human beings routinely do to each other. It's revolting, really. Sickening.

Starfire would say it's lucky I've seen good things, too. And I supposed she's right. Otherwise, what am I fighting for? There _are _good people out there. I've seen a few of them. Worked with some. Saved a few more. They're the reason I risk my life every day. Because me? I'm already ruined.

Cyborg hates when I say things like that. Robin hates it even more, but it's true. So I might as well make myself useful in the interim.

Beast Boy's the worst. He refuses to let it drop. He continues to think I'm secretly as pure as the rest of them, but the only purity I can lay claim to is purging the world of _other _types of evil.

And I'm frightened when I start to wonder if maybe the world would be a better place without people in it.

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**Bed Dream**

_Continuity – Anytime, really_

Not so long ago, Jinx used to dream about owning a king-sized bed. That was when she first entered HIVE, before she even graduated onto a proper team. She would stare at the backs of attractive heads in class and wonder what it would be like to muss the hair of each and every one. Sometimes she'd let herself daydream. That was how the king-sized bed wish was born. She was sixteen years old, hormones on overdrive and surrounded by people who were, if not outright gorgeous, then at least attention-grabbing.

She thinks about the king-sized bed dream now, and she's surprised that a part of her still wants it. It was only two years ago, but she feels like she's grown up so much since she wanted to muss hair on goose-down pillows. This is her world now – this moving from one bolt hole to another, this flare of bloodlust and the psychotic buzz of courting death alongside Gizmo and Mammoth. There's no room for airy dreams here.

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**To be Human **

_Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'_

Raven is a girl. So are Starfire and Terra.

Some days, it feels like that's where the similarities between them end.

Terra is exuberantly human, and while Starfire's blood says she isn't, she still embraces everything Raven has taught herself to revile. They relish their own mortality and luxuriate in an almost psychotic addiction to _feeling _that should make them weak, but seems only to make them stronger. They feverishly thrust themselves into the world, almost as if trying to hurl themselves right out of it, or else catch the coattails of whatever passion motivates them.

And though they try to include her, to drag her with them into their delicious insanity, Raven is always aware of how she can't follow their example.

Painfully aware.

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**Spyware **

_Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'._

BREEP-BI-DEEP.

"Please shut up." The words left Terra's lips before her brain registered that it's generally impossible to plead with a computer. She turned over in bed, pulling the pillow to wrap around the back of her skull and cocoon her from the still-not-yet-dawn world.

The computer didn't beep again, but a pleasant-sounding voice trilled, "You have mail," from the dresser.

"Piss off," Terra mumbled, until a few important details clicked back into place. "Fuck." She kicked off her quilt and stumbled muzzily across the room.

The subject read like a barcode, and the inside had to be deciphered, as usual. She opened the relevant programme, but paused, eye caught by an uncoded sentence at the bottom of the screen.

_You look peaceful when you sleep._

She looked around, stared at the screen, swallowed. Then she slammed the laptop shut and took the bed at a run, covering her head like she used to as a kid, when the bogeyman was coming to get her.

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**Playing Dress-Up**

_Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'._

"I feel like an idiot."

"Well _I _think you look cool. You should dress like that more often."

Raven stood in the doorway to the changing room with arms folded, not entirely sure how she'd been talked into this. Her clothes were a basic testament that grunge was _not_ truly dead in Jump City – torn cutoff shorts plastered in patches over plum woolen tights, a black tank top under a shabby flannel, and an assortment of mismatched necklaces and earrings. The jewelry was Starfire's fault. Like some sort of intergalactic magpie she had descended on the revolving rack the moment they walked in the store, and then darted about, attaching things to Raven without asking permission. The rest of the outfit, however, was all Terra's doing.

Terra stood to one side, a camera in her hand. She's used up almost a whole roll of film capturing this shopping trip. Raven might have wondered why, had she not been devoting so much attention to seething.

"Tell her she looks good, Star."

"Truly, you look most marvelous, friend Raven."

Raven glared at them. "I wish you both hideous boils. It's important you know that."

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_END FRACTURE FOUR_

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	5. Fracture Five

A/N - I realise that a lot of the drabbles so far have been from, or concerning the Terra arc. Not that I'm apologising for that, just saying that I noticed it.

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_FRACTURE FIVE_

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**Belonging **

_Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'._

Once, Terra said a sentence that lifted at the end like a whiny child, and Cyborg looked at her even though his head was turned away. "Why _did _you come back?" he asked. "Really."

And she had pouted a little, and stuck out her lower lip. "If you don't want me here - "

"No, no, that ain't what I meant," he was hasty to placate. "I just thought girls had some special social strata thing that guys like me don't understand. Only, you don't seem to bond with my girls the way … y'know."

_His_ girls. She'd felt a flash of jealousy at the implication, if only because she had never been anyone's Terra. "I missed everyone," was all she said. And he nodded, and they went back to fixing the carburettor.

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**Tags, Titles and Handles**

_Continuity – Somewhere before the start of Season Three._

"So what should I call you, anyway?"

She watched him through half-lidded eyes, sprawled calculatingly across a bank of cushions that wouldn't have looked out of place in the quarters of a sultan's harem. By comparison, he sat straight-backed, an iron rod inserted down his collar. His eyes were wide and intense – so much so that the inverted colours only added, not detracted from it. He looked like he knew what he was about.

She liked that.

She shrugged slowly, languidly, curling one shoulder and making a deeper hollow in her collarbone. "I ain't got no name," she said mildly. "But if y'all gotta call me something, call me Bumblebee."

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**School of Thought**

_Continuity – Either between 'Terra' and 'Titan Rising', or between 'Betrayal' and 'Aftershock: Part I'._

There was a moment between seeing a punch and taking it that Terra lost her mind. Not 'ga-ga, me go crazy' lost it, but felt it go someplace else before the thud of knuckle brought her crashing back to reality.

She might have tried to explain it to Slade, but something told her he wouldn't understand. When Slade fought, he fought with all his being. He had no time for daydreaming in the middle of combat.

She wasn't sure how she_ could _explain it, anyway – that brief interlude when she was _certain_ she could feel the wind in her hair, or a hand slipping into hers, or the breath squeezed from her lungs by an overzealous hug. Maybe she was having an out of body experience. Or maybe all the hits to her head had scrambled her brain.

Maybe she was just going mad.

WHUMP!

Slade stood over her, tutting. "You'll never learn if you don't concentrate."

She spat blood into the dirt. "Yes, sir."

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**In Search of Crackers**

_Continuity – Between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal'. _

Terra knew there was no earthly way to sneak up on Raven. If she didn't hear your footfalls, she sensed your mind long before you saw her. So she didn't bother to disguise the fact that she was in the kitchen, looking for that pack of graham crackers she'd spotted at lunchtime, while Raven sat reading on the couch. Every now and then Terra would shoot the other girl furtive looks, but Raven never stirred, despite obviously knowing she was there.

The book was huge, with gilded pages and imitation emeralds studded across the cover. Or maybe they were real. It was difficult to tell. Either way, the book made Raven look slightly smaller, as though it would crush her should it fall.

Terra didn't understand Raven. She didn't understand how she could be so fragile and so strong all at once. She didn't understand how she could look at death every day and tell it to fuck off, but lock herself in her room for hours because she was frightened of something inside _herself_. She didn't understand how muttering a few weird words was supposed to help any, and she _definitely _didn't see why Raven felt like she had to cope with all the important stuff on her own.

"Was there something you wanted?" Raven asked without looking up.

"Nope," Terra replied, fishing out the crackers. "I'm fine, thanks. Peachy keen."

* * *

**Ruminations **

_Continuity – Waaay into the future, after all the episodes are done and dusted._

"Grandpa, who was Terra?"

Garfield froze, though you couldn't really tell. For a man who'd spent most of his life leaping in and out of danger like a gazelle – sometimes literally – he seemed to spend an awful lot of time in his armchair these days.

He turned stiffly to look at his granddaughter. "Why do you ask?"

She scrubbed at the back of her neck – not pale green like her mother's, but a vague lilac that took him back a few decades. "Just something Alex said."

Ah yes. Alex Grayson, love of her short life, who could say he kicked the moon into orbit and have her believe him.

"Terra was … a friend. From a long time ago."

"Oh. But not anymore?"

"No. Not anymore."

That seemed to pacify her a little. "What was she like?"

Garfield thought of all the ways he could describe Terra; all the different descriptions he'd thought up over the years; all the facts that had come to light after she was gone. They bubbled to the surface of his mind like fizz in a shook-up soda bottle. But instead of giving them voice he said, "She used to like hanging upside down from trees with me."

"Like a bat?"

"No. More like a possum."

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**Smoking Odium**

_Continuity – The Raven vs. Terra battle in 'Aftershock: Part One'._

I hate you, Raven.

I hate the way you took so long to warm up to me. I hate the way you forever looked sideways at me when we were all relaxing, so I got tense and jumpy. I hate the way I always suspected you knew more about me than you were letting on. I hate that you never confirmed that. I hate that you can stand next to the Titans now, even when they're not here, and make like _I'm_ the bad guy – that I've _always _been the bad guy. I hate that you weren't willing to give me the chance they gave you.

Yeah, I know about your little 'secret'. Daddy's not such a nice dude, is he? Amazing what Slade's research turned up, isn't it?

You should be as fucked up and miserable as me. But you're not. You're all determined and righteous and facing me down in some heroic last stand.

Hypocrite.

I'm enjoying making you drown in filth. It's not the metaphorical filth you put me in with your words, but it'll do in a pinch. Even demon-spawn have to breathe.

I hate you, Raven. I hate everything you stand for, everything you've done, everything you kind-of-sort-of-but-not-really offered me. Well, guess who's holding all the cards now? It pays to treat people good when they're at the bottom of the heap.

I'm on top now.

And guess what? You're not.

You're not even at the bottom.

Goodbye, Raven.

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_END FRACTURE FIVE_

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End file.
